This was an interesting day for a lack of better words
Started off this day at 6:30am for Radiology appointments. Kendall had an ultrasound of the abdomen(to look at all of the other organs in the belly area). She also had an ultrasound of the upper and lower extremities to look at all the vessels that run through the body from the neck and groin.(Kendall didn’t mind this part but she is very ticklish and she was very afraid that she would start laughing and farting). She will hopefully never know I said this but it is true(Sydney and Quentin don’t tell her). Please!!!
Consultation with cardiothoracic surgeon(Heart and lung). Listen. I was good. Cool, calm, collected and coasting through all of this prior to this appointment. I was seeing the benefits and very optimistic!! Then it happened. He said “she has had 5 surgeries in the same area. 4 scheduled and 1 emergency. There is a lot of scar tissue and it will take hours for us to even get to the heart. It is very risky and her risk of bleeding heavily is very concerning. I will have to put her on lifesaving machines while we wait to see if this will be successful.” I am not even going to lie. I felt like I was being told that this was a bad idea to proceed with the surgery and we needed to make sure this is something we wanted to proceed with. I literally felt sick to my stomach because up until now I knew the risks, but I always had hope. I still have hope. I still believe that she will get the absolute best heart without complications and none of those statistics apply to her. This is nothing new to us, we are just not of fan of all of these surgeries and everything that goes along with it but also thankful that there are options. Sometimes the delivery of news from doctor to family feels kind of brutal and harsh. I wanted to be angry at him but I appreciate honesty, experience and passion more than just telling us what we want to here. Gotta have some thick skin during this!!!!. As a nurse I had to think back at all the times I heard doctors give patients news that I wish they would have said differently, more gentle or with more compassion. I also know those were some of the most skilled, committed and competent doctors I have ever known and their skill outweighed their bedside manner any day. But I am human and not a robot without feelings, doubt, questions and concerns. So we made up in our minds that this is going to be successful because Kendall didn’t come all of this way for us to feel defeated and doubtful. Nope. The doctors have to give you the worst case scenarios but It is up to you/me to decide and believe that the opposite is true. We have come too far to turn back now. + the more positive and hopeful she sees me and her dad are consistently, the easier it is for her to believe everything is going to work out.
Psychology Consult- There is a God and He knew I needed to see this person at the end of this day!!! Awesome and much needed. This doctor absolutely helped us to see that the overwhelm we feel is normal. She got Kendall to open up about some of her feelings and fears. Also got to know Damon and I and reassure us that there will always be someone available for our mental needs as well. This was very important to me. I finally felt I could exhale and pour out how I was feeling about all of this, being in another state, no familiar resources/family, and trying to process this big life change/challenge. Not to mention my personal therapist told me she is retiring in May. WTH!!!! Lol
We know we are surrounded by God and His angels that are assigned to us. Family, friends, villages, and a tribe of people who have our backs 24-7.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
The love we have for you is real
Family of Kendall Todd]
#KendallsWholeHeart
#BeKendrallStrong
#TeamKendallT