Greetings to you all. It has been 2 weeks but it seems like it’s been 2 days since I posted. I swear to you, there is a lot of busy work to do while “waiting” to get a transplant call. Trust and believe I am busier now than I have ever been. Think about it—-you have to make plans for who’s going to take care of your household while you’re gone. Just think of all of the things you do to run your household then picture you have to leave for a couple of months at the drop of a dime. That’s a major transition.
Don’t get me wrong, the sacrifice is all worth it because we have 2 great kids-Sydney and Quentin, my mom, our church family, our neighbors and close friends who we know without a doubt will take care of anything we need them to with just one phone call. I’m not worried about any of that because I know everything/everybody will be taken care of. I guess it’s difficult because I just rather do things for other people than being the one that needs help. Maybe it’s the nurse in me. It’s hard to shut that off and be taken care of rather than being the one that wants to make sure everyone else’s needs are placed before our own. Can I get an amen from my fellow healthcare workers??? And yes it’s true, we make the worst patients for this same reason. lol
Even though I know being with Kendall in Pittsburgh is where I will be, want to be, need to be and have to be, I feel torn because I can’t be here in MI physically for my other 2 kids and my mom. But……I know that I am tripping right now and they are going to take care of each other and everything will go smoothly here because we are all on the same page and will support each other through this even across the miles.
I have had several days recently where I have had extreme sadness and quiet tearful moments. Not because I don’t believe that everything will be ok, but more so because of the seriousness of the surgery, rehab, watching your child be in pain, and the fact that we are in another state and we can’t have family there. Covid sucks and it has got to go!!!!!
Although I think it may be better that way in the long run because I want her siblings and grandmother to see her when she is in the rehab phase and she is feeling better and stronger.
It was never my intention to type all of this but I needed to say how I am truly feeling right now. I am absolutely grateful for the blessings this heart transplant will bring for Kendall and all of us that are connected to her. We are all invested in the details of how her testimony and story continues. At this point if you are connected to her journey, I hope that everything that happens from this day forward affects your life too, in a positive way. So many things have been falling into place during these last few months that I know it could only be God that is setting it up in Kendall’s favor. It is my hope that if nothing else, our faith and love for God will be increased because Kendall has been an example of walking miracle on Earth for 13 years and she has never, not once complained.
I initially started this post to give you updates on the 2 appointments she had this week but I was overcome with emotions and real feelings so that’s what I am typing. People say I am so strong everytime they see me. I’m not denying that, even though I don’t always agree. Maybe I am stronger than I think. But most times I feel like it is a mask I put on so that no one sees the devastation and pain I truly feel sometimes. This is my baby and I am hurting because I don’t want her to suffer one day in her life.
I am grateful and thankful for the gift of life she will receive from her donor. I do not take that lightly or for granted and I will spend everyday for the rest of my life sharing her story, giving others hope, and most of all being an advocate for anyone who needs support and affirmations that they can get through their situations.
I am in a place right now where I am not going to be unapologetic for my feelings that I am working through. We are all human and cannot pass judgement on someone else when we don’t know what they are going through. I know everything will work out just like it has before and I am a believer. If you are on our team, we thank you. I know that it is not just our family who is invested in Kendall’s life/journey and we thank you for your commitment to our family.
Thank you for your consistent love and support
Cewanda
#BeKendallStrong
#hrhs
#hypoplasticrightheartsyndrome
#TeamKendallT